Hanna Basel

“You two look perfect on paper.” Your friends say it. Your colleagues assume it. Your families brag about it.And yet, at home, the smallest misstep can turn into a full-blown standoff. If you’re a high-achieving couple, you probably know this tension well: public excellence, private exhaustion. You’re capable, competent, admired—and struggling more than anyone realizes. You’re not alone. In my practice, affluent, high-performing couples lean in quickly because the story hits home. They aren’t...

Many couples therapists decline to work with partners who are in active addiction. It’s common, and it’s understandable.Active use can complicate treatment, distort emotional signals, and make progress feel unpredictable.But the result is something few clinicians want to talk about: Most couples can’t get help unless the partner struggling with addiction gets clean first. And that creates a bind—because the relationship could be the very place where the shift toward sobriety begins. When...

When every argument feels like déjà vu You start with something small — a tone, a sigh, a difference of opinion — and within minutes, you’re both defensive, hurt, and saying things you don’t mean.Then comes the silence, the guilt, the distance.You promise to do better, but somehow, you end up right back there again. That’s not coincidence. That’s a reactive cycle  — a predictable loop where fear and pain take the lead, and love gets lost in translation. 1. You both feel misunderstood — even...